The Infamous Backstory

You had to know this was coming, so here it goes:

Why Pagan?

I wonder that every single day.
I grew up in a Catholic family. Heavily Catholic. As in went to church every Sunday, baptized, First Holy Communion, catechism, Catholic. Yep, Lent, Ash Wednesday, saying the rosary at home...the whole she-bang. We weren't even allowed playing cards in our home because they "attracted the devil".
I was young when it started. There was a growing feeling in me that none of this was right for me. Some of what the priest would say did sort of sound right, but everything else was wrong.
I look back now and wonder how much of that was boredom and how much of it was simply my soul calling out for more.

As soon as I could, I would venture off to the library by myself and check out some of my favorite books on ghosts, vampires, spirits, what have you. I LOVED that stuff. One of my visits there, a book caught my eye. It was called "The Grand Grimorie" (you might recognize it as the "Goetia").
Something clicked in me when it came to that book. It was close, but not quite what I was looking for. I did check out the book and copy every single thing in it.

From there, I checked out other books that gave my religious mother fits. It didn't matter how much she punished me for my interest, I wasn't about to give it up!

Finally, after many pitfalls, I landed in this broad field called Paganism. It suits me. It feels right. I've never been happier, actually.

Why a name like "The Black Spiral"?

I guess the first order of business is to answer a simple question: Why a name like "The Black Spiral"?
I know you're thinking "Gee, that doesn't sound very positive!"

You would be right. It's not. Not really at least.

See, I'm a tabletop nerd. One of my first loves was not D&D, but Vampire: The Masquerade. Before long, I had a few copies of the other White Wolf game, Werewolf: The Apocalypse. I loved those books. When I didn't get a chance to play, I read the books and made characters.

However, there was something that always resonated with me: The Black Spiral Dancers. Now, I didn't like them (they were the twisted werewolves who wanted to destroy everything pure) and I didn't like what they stood for...but something about that title "Black Spiral Dancer" just stayed with me.

These creatures added to their ranks by kidnapping other werewolves and forcing them to walk the Black Spiral Labyrinth. By walking the labyrinth, they changed, became twisted creatures...Black Spiral Dancers.

Now, why did I take it? Well, remove all of the negativity from it and this is what I get: The labyrinth is something that we all walk. Life is nothing but a huge labyrinth. Some people go around in circles and never learn a thing at all. However, if you're like me, you walk the Black Spiral. It's not like the other one. This one twists you about. It changes you. It distorts your view to the point where the world doesn't look the same way again. You've been driven to the point of madness and back and you're still a bit confused.
The Black Spiral, to me, is something that no one wants to be in. It's something that you just find yourself in and good luck getting out. After a while, it starts to become quite cozy...

So, what path do I walk spiritually? I walk the path of the Black Spiral. (Let's just call it that because it sounds spooky, m'kay?) I don't have a set path. I wander. Sometimes in circles, just like what I said in all of that rambling above.

If you gleaned something out of my gibberish--AWESOME! If not? Just wait! It gets worse!