My Relationship with Loki

I was going to name this "My Relationship with a Pyromaniac", but said pyromaniac sipped his coffee and told me that my clothes would look lovely...on fire.

Where do I begin with this?
I do believe I touched on how Loki and I crossed paths. Well, at least the first time I was aware that we crossed paths, as I have a tendency to be completely oblivious to certain things.

I am known as the jester in my rather large family. When bad things happen, I crack jokes. When good things happen, I crack jokes. When people are in pain, I find something to say that takes their mind off of it.

At first, I could imagine that this quality in me was incredibly irritating to everyone around me. Even people who meet me consider me to be...odd (and that's putting it nicely!). Why? Because I don't think like other people. While everyone else is stuck in traffic and venting their frustrations out on their steering wheels, I'm gazing at the skies, looking for dragons...or aliens.
I think the system that humans dreamed up is awful silly. Rules, rules, rules! Everyone wants freedom, but no one wants the responsibility of TRUE freedom. It's all so very amusing! At least that's what my god and I whisper to each other behind the backs of those hurrying people.

When I first started on this path, I tiptoed around Loki. It was as if he was crashing on my couch, sleeping off a bender, and I was afraid of waking him in case he was a violent drunk.
Days went by and he was still on my couch. He was waiting, not sleeping.



It took some time to understand something else. In all those years that I was looking for a deity, it was almost as if they were avoiding me. If it isn't hubris, I would say that I was marked as Loki's before I even knew who he was. The only deity that even bothered to listen to me for a time was Sekhmet...and she really doesn't not have a great deal of patience for the likes of me.

So, there I was with him. Alone. Truthfully, I had NO CLUE about what I was supposed to do with him. I had no rituals to perform, no blueprint that seems to come with the other gods, NOTHING!

Being the bookish type that I am, I tried to find anything that would help me. And...Loki picked up my book and hit me over the head with it.

"I'm right here, you idiot! Why not ask me what I like?"

My eyes went big. Duh! "Okay...what do you like?"

Why didn't I think to ask him directly? His presence was RIGHT THERE! Why did I look to someone else to fill in my blanks when the god, himself, is right there waiting?
More importantly: Why did I ask that?!

Soon, I was filled with way too many requests! "Music, candy, vodka, candles, 'don't put on clothes', watch that one movie....!"
I realized that asking what he didn't like or want was MUCH easier: "Don't take this all so seriously. I'm your buddy, not your daddy. No New Age music when you want to honor me. Play something that makes you shake your ass.
"No 'thee' and 'thou' and all that horseshit. I'm sick of hearing it. My name is 'L-O-K-I'. Call me that...or something sexy, that's good, too.
"Don't be afraid to be what you are in front of me. I see through all those masks you wear anyway, so why bother? If I catch you trying that on me, I'm going to spank you and it's going to hurt.
"Don't believe in everything you read about me. Half of it's lies and half of it's truth with more bullshit sprinkled on top for taste. As you see me is how I am, how I will be. Apply the same rule to everything.
"Don't despair to the point where you can't find the humor in things. Don't ever look to me and ask 'why?'. My answer will always be 'why not?'.
"Never be malicious. We do things to teach lessons, not hurt for the sake of it. My tongue can be sharp because it is what some people need. I suggest that you break out a file and put an edge on yours, too.
"Don't worry about authenticity in my lore.  Words can be lies and lies can be words. What you feel is right. Never let anyone tell you that you're wrong. That's my job.
"Lastly, if I catch you being too full of yourself, I will push you down a flight of stairs. Possibly metaphorically, you never know. My people aren't better than anyone else so don't act like it. You're not smarter, prettier, wealthier, or more stable than anyone else. Don't be stuck up, just be. Follow this and we'll get along juuuuuuuust fine."

My eyes were opened in that instant. I was wrong about this guy. Everyone is wrong about this guy.  Everything I knew was wrong.

He smirked. "Not such a bad guy, now am I?"

"Nope."

We've gotten along pretty well since then. I have gotten a bit haughty a few times and he has only metaphorically pushed me down the stairs so far. Once I hit the ground, he looks at me and says, "Told you! Now, have you learned a lesson?"
Of course, he does help me up...after poking me a few times, but it's all in goodish fun.

It's not easy being Lokean. It's not easy dealing with him or with him in your life. But, it certainly IS rewarding! Despite the bruises and bumps.

One last thing I found out while on Loki's path: He really, really, really seems to love tequila. ;)